Domination is the name of the game, in bed or in life!
Yes, yes, I know this song was originally intended as a manifesto addressed to politics and the way the world is ruled, but if you detach yourself from the political views it fights against, you will see that it can very well relate to the world that interests us. It’s a lot like life, right?
Depeche Mode – Master and servant
It's a lot
It's a lot
Like life
There's a new game
We like to play you see
A game with added reality
You treat me like a dog
Get me down on my knees
We call it master and servant
We call it master and servant
It's a lot like life
This play between the sheets
With you on top and me underneath
Forget all about equality
Let's play master and servant
Let's play master and servant
It's a lot like life
And thats what's appealing
If you despise that throwaway feeling
From disposable fun
Then this is the one
Domination's the name of the game
In bed or in life
They're both just the same
Except in one you're fulfilled
At the end of the day
Let's play master and servant
Let's play master and servant
Let's play master and servant
Come on master and servant.
Today I’m a little moodier than usual and I stumbled upon a song which seems to fit with my state of mind. I was thinking of relationships, how they begin, how they end and so on. Are D/s relationships or relationships which involve BDSM elements the same? Well, of course they are, at least very similar. They still involve people. Even if some of us might like them more impersonal, a feeling of mutual sympathy and respect still exists. Moreover, not few are the cases when actual love occurred between the partners, who have lived happily ever after.
The steps we take before getting involved with a person are quite the same: we meet, we find out if we have common interests, likes, dislikes. We talk, talk some more, go out again and then maybe we’ll get to the “behind closed doors part”. Then we all go on with our daily lives, but we still talk with our partner and see each other from time to time (or maybe daily, whatever, this storyline is just for fun, it is easily changeable), then suddenly everybody knows we’ve left the “single” category. In unfortunate cases, a rapture appears and the two break up; hearts break and wounds heal in time or maybe the the two actually remain friends. Sounds very vanilla up to now, right?
Well, maybe not so vanilla somewhere in-between. As a Dominant or a submissive person, we choose the types of relationships we would like to have with others. We might want long-term relationships or only occasional sessions; we might want to have a typical relationship besides the BDSM one with the same person, or we might just want to stick to the D/s one, not wanting to involve with a partner in a multi-level relationship. Some choose a D/s relationship as a “parallel life”, when they know that they cannot have this with their spouse, but they know their spouse is the perfect partner from all other points of view. It’s not easy deciding what you want from life in general, but add BDSM to it and everything just gets more messed up.
From my point of view, the best way to go is to have a long-term BDSM relationship with your partner. Maybe you discovered it together and experimented all kind of things, maybe you met in the scene and decided you were a match, or maybe you wanted it and presented the lifestyle to your partner, “converting” him or her to the ever-moving world of BDSM. Some might not agree with me, but a relationship needs trust and communication, and these two don’t come in easily. It takes time to get to trust one another and to learn how to tell each other about your desires, fantasies etc. Not to mention that, in time, non-verbal communication occurs and you tend to know what feels good, what doesn’t, what your partner wants and so on without him or her even telling you. This applies to both D/s relationships (when the partners only meet with this purpose in mind), TPEs and people who have a “BDSM-bedroom” relationship (my own definition for people who are like a vanilla couple all the time and they have a D/s relationship only in the intimacy of their bedroom). So, long-run in the key, at least to my mind!
Acest articol si pozele atasate nu imi apartin. El a fost scris de Doamna A., o buna prietena, a carei permisiune o am pentru publicare. Cronica este subiectiva, continand exclusiv parerea autoarei. De ce am rugat-o pe Doamna A., participanta la concert, sa redea in scris atmosfera spectacolului? Pe langa evidentele conexiuni ale versurilor trupei cu fenomenul BDSM, spectacolul din Bucuresti a adus pe scena si un duo de exceptie pentru un show de Japanese suspension bondage, ceva ce nu vezi zilnic intr-o tara care nu accepta manifestarile BDSM si considera ca orice este diferit, este neaparat si “anormal”.
Toate drepturile sunt rezervate, iar orice preluare a articolului sau a pozelor fara permisiune este interzisa.
Tempted by lust and the promise of sin
In data de 5 noiembrie 2010, clubul nou-aparut in Bucuresti, Kulturhaus, a gazduit un concert de exceptie al trupei suedeze Ordo Rosarius Equilibrio, in cadrul evenimentului “Experimental Friday II”, organizat de DonisArt, concert de lansare al noului album “Songs 4 Hate and Devotion”.
Desi anuntat pentru ora 20:00, concertul in sine a inceput in jurul orei 21:00, lucru care nu inceteaza sa ma deranjeze in cadrul evenimentelor organizate in Romania, dar incerc sa nu ma mai plang de acest lucru. Desi clubul este incapator, bine pozitionat si accesibil, publicul concertului nu a fost numeros. Parerea mea este ca spectacolul nu a fost suficient promovat, desi trupa, care activeaza de 17 ani, este mai mult decat capabila sa stranga un numar ridicat de spectatori; astfel, doar cunoscatorii si fanii care urmaresc constant activitatea formatiei au semnat condica de prezenta.
Pe langa toate acestea, pot spune sincer ca a fost unul dintre cele mai bune concerte pe care le-am vazut recent. Desi formatia m-a impresionat si anul trecut in cadrul festivalului Dark Bombastic Evening, acolo au fost atat de multe trupe de valoare (ORE, Triarii, Spiritual Front, Rome etc) incat nu prea mai stiai a carei reprezentatie sa o consideri cea mai buna. Avand in vedere acestea, un concert in care ORE sa fie trupa principala (si unica, de altfel) mi-a lasat o impresie durabila si mult mai puternica.
Publicul s-a dovedit a fi foarte energic si i-a intampinat pe suedezi cu aplauze puternice. Au inceput cu “The Love and Defiance of Being Alive” (ONANI, 2008), trecand mai apoi prin melodii noi precum “In My Little Black Dress”, “Do Angels Never Cry, And Heave Never Fall?”, “IMBECILE, My Idiot Lover”,“A Song 4 Hate and Devotion”, “A World Not So Beautiful”, neuitand insa si de cele de pe albumele mai vechi: “[Mercury Rising] Seduced By The Kisses Of Cinnabar Sweet” , “Which Word Confines The Truth? Dancing For Love And War”, “I am the SUN (Anus Dei)”, “Sheep For a Lifetime or Lion for A Day”, “Singing for the Angel of the East”, “Mary Dances In The Shadow – The Holiest Of Harlots”, “Remember Depravity and the Orgies of Rome”.
Pe tot parcursul reprezentatiei, pe un ecran aflat in spatele formatiei au fost proiectate imagini fetish si SM, de la scene de body worship, foot fetish pana la whipping si caning, atat din cadrul FemDom, cat si din MaleDom.
La finalul melodiei “Confessions of a Sinflower“, trupa a iesit de pe scena anuntand finalul concertului, iar publicul a inceput sa scandeze numele formatiei. Tomas si ORE s-au intors insotiti de maestrul Zamil si partenera sa, un duo german care a demonstrat tehnici de legare a adversarului din Kinbaku, arta martiala japoneza, si supendarea acestuia, totul fiind transpus in erotismul practicilor de bondage, des intalnite sub diverse forme (de la simple legaturi de imobilizare pana la arta Shibari) in BDSM. Publicul a privit cu mare atentie demonstratia, atat de atent incat Tomas a comentat amuzat la finalul uneia din melodii pe seama uimirii publicului, care a uitat chiar si sa aplaude.
Au urmat melodii cunoscute ale trupei, fara de care un concert ORE nu poate fi considerat complet, precum “Three is an Orgy, Four is Forever”, “Hell is Where the Heart Is” si “In High Heels Through Nights Of Broken Glass” , timp in care Zamil si-a legat si suspendat partenera in diverse pozitii, folosind tehnici de legare si noduri variate.
La sfarsit, trupa s-a retras de pe scena in aplauze furtunoase, iar apoi cei doi germani au fost si ei aclamati pentru prestatie.
In concluzie, concertul de lansare al noului album Ordo Rosarius Equilibrio, “Songs 4 Hate and Devotion“, a fost unul reusit, punctele esentiale fiind placut evidentiate prin imaginile proiectate in spatele trupei, iar elementul surpriza (pentru unii participanti), demonstatia de bondage a celor doi germani, reprezentanti ai Kinbaku Art, a facut totul mult mai incitant si a creat o atmosfera potrivita unei petreceri BDSM, desi multi dintre cei aflati acolo nu cunosc aceasta parte a muzicii trupei.
Si pentru ca nu se poate sa nu inchei in stilul meu traditional, va recomand sa urmariti cel mai recent videoclip Ordo Rosarius Equilibrio, “IMBECILE, My Idiot Lover”. Pentru toti cei pasionati ceea ce se afla in spatele muzicii si al imaginilor.
Since I’m such a romantic and a sucker for RULES, PROTOCOLS, SYMBOLISM and the like, this article is dedicated to all the control-freaks Dominant persons out there (such as myself). Enjoy!
We rarely get to read something about BDSM Safety without actually getting to hear “BDSM Etiquette” at least once every two articles. Not to be an exception from this rule, I will also mention some aspects of this etiquette, but I will not focus on it, since my main priority is not the whole code of rules, but just the symbolism of this “obscure” society.
The BDSM Etiquette is a code, a collection of common-sense rules for meeting and interacting with people from the scene in a safe, sane and consensual way, but also acknowledging and applying RAWK (risk-aware consensual kink). It states that, above all, we are human beings, free of slavery in its basic, dictionary sense and that we are free to choose any role we’d like in the scene, free to say no, free from any type of constraint regarding our decisions. One can enter the game and leave it at his or her own free will.
Now, on to symbolism and symbols. Again, not news to anybody with the slightest interest in BDSM that the novel “The Story of O” by Pauline Reage and the 1975 movie are milestones to what the society represents, how it is portrayed and how it is kept from the curious eye. Long story short, the novel is the story of a submissive young woman, O, taken by her lover to the Roissy castle for training. You have to discover the rest for yourself, but mind you, don’t hesitate to read the book or at least to watch the movie; it’s worth it.
Now, as the book described an the movie depicted, after a person’s training was over, they were to wear a specific type of ring, which was viewed as some sort of a recognition symbol for those involved in BDSM. I simply adore this idea of having to or choosing to wear a well-known symbol so as to signal the others that you are different. Imagine this, you are wearing a ring inspired by the Story of O and go to an office party, the very boring, but mandatory kind. The nigh is slow and you are dazing off with a glass of wine in front of you when, suddenly, a mysterious, dark, enchanting male/female brushes by you and slowly whispers in your ear “I know who you are and what you need”, leaving you confused while walking away with a sly smile. You take a sip of wine and realize you’re wearing the ring. Voila, and let the games begin!
Now, stepping away from fantasy, let us return to symbols. These are two supposed versions of the Roissy ring, out of which the first one was actually used in the movie.
Now, you might notice something strange on the design of the second ring. That is a triskele (or triskelion), a symbol often used by the Celts to depict constant motion originating from a single central point, force. The Celts used this symbol to portray:
personal growth
human development
spiritual expansion
Because of the three “legs”, according to different eras, it was given new meanings:
Spirit, Mind, Body
Father, Son, Holy Ghost
Mother, Father, Child
Past, Present, Future
Power, Intellect, Love
Creator, Destroyer, Sustainer
Creation, Preservation, Destruction
Now, am I just being overly romantic or do some of these go hand in hand with the BDSM world? Creator, destroyer, sustainer screams Master/Mistress at me, while power, intellect, love underlines the necessary traits for a functional SM-relationship, in my view. And the list of perceived meanings could go on and on…
The Celtic triskele was adapted for the BDSM world in this form (copyrighted by Steve Quagmyr, but which can be used for non-profit purposes). He explains it to be the communion of Safe, Sane and Consensual, but also the interdependency of BD, DS and SM as well as that of Tops, Bottoms and Switches; it is supposed to be a discreet way for people of the scene to recognize each other, even in a vanilla environment, without negative consequences that sometimes occur when one is discovered to be part of an Alternative Lifestyle.
A non-copyrighted version of the BDSM symbol is:
Other well known visual symbols are:
The Ownership Flags – Different images for those who are Owners or owned:
– general Ownership Flag
Male/Female Owners, Masters/Mistresses:
Submissive Males/Females, Owned/Collared:
Submissive male/female, Unowned/Not collared:
This concludes my view for today on BDSM visual symbols. Till next time!
Sunterra, a band I know nothing about. Or should I say, knew nothing about it until recently. They subscribe to the gothic metal genre, but to me it is quite difficult to listen to. It has two singers, a female and a male; the guy mostly screams, but the song in general is pretty decent. As far as I know, it’s the only BDSM-related song from the band, but mind you, I might be wrong. So, if you enjoy metal music combined with symphonic elements, this is the BDSM song for you.
Enjoy! (Oh, and by the way, I translated the Latin and German phrases in brackets, with italic)
Late at night I can hear
Whispering behind the wall
Suddenly my girl comes in
Looks like a Black-rubber-doll
She holds the whip in her hand,
Now I can’t do stupid things,
I go down on my knees –
Quid est libertas? (Who owns the liberty?)
With a smile on her face
But strictness in her voice
I can taste my sweat
I don’t have any choice
She holds the whip in her hand,
Now I can’t do stupid things,
I go down on my knees –
Quid est libertas? (Who owns the liberty?)
Hey girl – I’m not your slave!
I will gag you that’s true
Show you how I imagine
What you should do
I hold the whip in my hand,
Now you can’t do stupid things,
My lovely black rubber doll –
Meum est libertas! (Mine is the liberty!)
I hold the whip in my hand,
Now you can’t do stupid things,
My lovely black rubber doll –
Meum est libertas! (Mine is the liberty!)
Odisse! (I hate this!)
Die Menschen lieben von Natur aus die Freiheit (People naturally love freedom)
Und hassen den Zustand der Knechtschaft. (And hate the state of servitude)
I hold the whip in my hand,
Now you can’t do stupid things,
My lovely black rubber doll –
Meum est libertas! (Mine is the liberty!)
I hold the whip in my hand,
Now you can’t do stupid things,
My lovely black rubber doll –
Meum est libertas! (Mine is the liberty!)
Listening to the previously mentioned ORE song, The Pleasure of Pain, one question of the lyrics keeps repeating on and on in my head. That question is: “WHAT IS FETISHISM?”. Never mind the fact that it gives me tingling sensations, I decided to actually search the Internet for fetish-related articles, definitions etc, though I’m sure most of the readers know what a fetish is.
For myself, I have a very simple definition: Sexual Fetishism is manifestation of erotic desire, desire triggered by an object, part of body, image etc. Almost anything that exists can be a fetish for a certain person. Some might like high-heeled women’s shoes, other might like food, while others might enjoy a specific colour or balloons. Nonetheless, not every “like” is a fetish (if I tell you that I like wearing latex skirts, that does not necessarily mean that I have a fetish for latex). When a person has a fetish, this “like”,this pleasure turns into adoration, strong desire which one cannot resist to. Here I must also add that, although probably everybody has a declared (or not) fetish, this does not imply that sexual desire occurs only in the presence of that “object” (I will call it so, even if I refer to the latex fetish or to feet fetish). Sexual desire might be triggered by a certain object, but the person associated with that object is of vital importance. No person who has a foot fetish will adore all kinds of feet; they will look for something in particular (the form of the toes, nails, nail colour etc) and they will need to have a certain connection to that person. A submissive male with a leather fetish will enjoy the fact that his Mistress is dressed from head to toe in leather, but that might come secondary to the fact that he is in the presence of his Domme, to the fact that he is submitting to a Woman or only being allowed to be in Her presence.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Not every person who has any type of fetish is also a submissive! Many are, but many are not. For example, I simply adore extremely elegant, high-heeled shoes and I can never have too many pairs, I could sit endless hours just looking at them and trying them on, but does that make me submissive? Not really.
Now, I’m going to keep my mouth (or my writing) shut for a while and give you some definitions of the discussed terms.
Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object. Sexual fetishism may be regarded, e.g. in psychiatric medicine, as a disorder of sexual preference or as an enhancing element to a relationship causing a better sexual bond between the partners. The sexual acts involving fetishes are characteristically depersonalized and objectified, even when they involve a partner. Body parts may also be the subject of sexual fetishes, in which the body part preferred by the fetishist takes a sexual precedence over the owner.
10. Stomachs (I would definitely not agree with this one; just because we live in a society which deems perfectly flat abs as perfection it does not mean that our obsession with having a flat stomach means we actually have a fetish for it. I just think it’s an unhealthy obsession.)
9. Body Piercing (Again, don’t really agree, but I don’t have a clear reason for this one).
8. Leather, rubber, vinyl, latex (OH, my goodness, HELL YEAH!)
7. Domination and submission (Did anybody expect this to be deemed as a fetish?!)
6. Feet and hands (Couldn’t agree more. Although I do not have a fetish of this kind, clean, manicured/pedicured nails mean that the person takes good care of himself/herself, care about image, health etc.)
5. Fingernails and lipstick.
4. Hair (For men, it seems that long braided hair, pigtails, ponytails etc are a such a big turn-on that they cannot get excited without it.)
3. Water (?!)
2. Golden Showers
1. Voyeurism and Exhibitionism.
To my mind, not a bad “Top 10”, though I for sure would have rearranged them in another order, skipped some and added some more. But that’s just me, always picky and a perfectionist.
To conclude this short incursion into the world of fetishism, I’ll leave you with some pictures of what I enjoy, be it as a fetish or not.
This is the first post regarding music which without question sends its listeners straight into the BDSM world, be it by suggestive lyrics, themes or simply by creating a specific mood. Enjoy!
ORDO ROSARIUS EQUILIBRIO (ORE, in short) is a neofolk – apocalyptic folk band based in Stockholm formed out of Tomas Pettersson and Rose-Marie Larsen, accompanied by various other musicians for live performances. Their style is impossible to confuse with some other bands’, as eroticism springs out of both their lyrics and instrumental parts. Although they don’t necessarily deal with BDSM in general, their themes revolve around catholic and religious symbolism, politics, war, occultism and sexuality.
Up to now, they have visited Romania twice and will return on the 5th of November, probably for the launching of their new album ” Songs 4 hate and devotion”.
Now, to the songs that have caught my eye! 🙂
Mistress of the Hourglass Figure
My loved doll, in rubber thong
You know to whom, you do belong
Your garters hold, your stocking strains
Tender love, within restraint
Tightened strings, crown your back
6-inch heels, enhance your feet
Seductress who, belongs to me
Naked Things, detained in lace
I show you love, I show you grace
Nipples firm, but in disguise
Fastened garters, dress your thighs
A corset holds, your body lush
With lustful bonds, of sanctioned trust
In stockings, you emerge to me
My loved doll, in 6-inch heels
Now, how much more explicit can they be? “Mistress” strikes you from the very title, then they mention “rubber thongs” (and we all know that is a common fetish) ; the term “restraints” sends ones’ thoughts straight to bondage. They mention still some common fetish articles : corsets, extremely high heels, lace, stockings, garters etc… And what strikes me most, the suggested idea of possession, of a Master and a submissive female.
Safe, Sane and Consensual
And yet another suggestive title, with the well-known BDSM motto: Safe, Sane and Consensual. I hope you who are reading this know what SSC refers to! If not, proceed to Google and find out! It’s a must!
The song is actually an instrumental one. The music is seductive and peaceful, but you can hear the sound of the whip and of a whipping throughout the song. From time to time, a woman’s voice (probably Rose Marie’s) says Safe, Sane and Consensual, as a reminder to everybody into this world. Do not forget to take precautions, do not go over the line and always take your partner into consideration.
The Pleasure of Pain
This is yet another interesting song from the band; it is actually a duet with Spiritual Front. The instrumental part is simply amazing; the song includes a spoken male voice which I believe is taken from a 1960s American documentary, Perversion for Profit. These excerpts are very well chosen, I recommend it. But I wouldn’t approach the documentary if I were you, it is simply laughable. It suggests that teenagers are perverted, coerced into lesbianism, homosexuality and SM by magazines with revealing pictures. Yeah, riiiiiight!
She’s in love with a whip – My Venus in furs
(Velvet Underground cover)
Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather
Whiplash girlchild in the dark
Clubs and bells, your servant, don’t forsake him
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart
Downy sins of streetlight fancies
Chase the costumes she shall wear
Ermine furs adorn the imperious
Severin, Severin awaits you there
I am tired, I am weary
I could sleep for a thousand years
A thousand dreams that would awake me
Different colors made of tears
Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather
Shiny leather in the dark
Tongue of thongs, the belt that does await you
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart
Severin, Severin, speak so slightly
Severin, down on your bended knee
Taste the whip, in love not given lightly
Taste the whip, now plead for me
I am tired, I am weary
I could sleep for a thousand years
A thousand dreams that would awake me
Different colors made of tears
Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather
Whiplash girlchild in the dark
Severin, your servant comes in bells, please don’t forsake him
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart
And yet again, do I really need to explain this one? It sends you right to Sacher-Masoch’s novel, “Venus in Furs”…
Let me show you all the secrets of the Torture Garden
I will lead you through the door,
with a pledge to be adored
let me show you who I am
I will dress you in constraints
with the promises of pain
let me show you what I can
I will tie you to a chair
kiss your neck and pull you hair
let me show you who I am
lace your feet and kiss your legs
fold your eyes and make you beg
let me show you who I am
kiss your face and touch your skin
I will slide my fingers in
let me show you what I can
I will open up your eyes
I will show what’s inside
let me show you who I am
golden wine in sterling cup
I will have you drink it up
let me show you who I am
leave you on the floor
let you plead and beg for more
let me show you what I can
I absolutely adore this song! To me it represents a Domm(e)’s plegde to His/Her submissive in an extravagant, tempting, seductive way.
This concludes my ORE post, for now at least. Check them out at:
Atat urina, cat si fecalele fara sange sunt ok pe exteriorul pielii. Daca observati pe piele taieturi, zgarieturi nu urinati sau defecati in acel loc. Nu uitati ca si un cos este tot o rana!
Urina in cavitatea bucala prezinta un risc minim de HIV, dar daca vezica este infectata, alte BTS-uri se pot transmite. Drogurile trec prin urina fara a suferi schimbari chimice. In cazul prezentei fecalelor in cavitatea bucala, se pot transmite hepatita, alte BTS-uri, precum si paraziti intestinali. Ca parte a testelor regulate impotriva BTS, testati-va si pentru paraziti intestinali. Fiti atenti la simptomele unei infectii parazitare precum diaree, balonare, dureri, schimbari ale apetitului, ale greutatii sau nivelului general de energie.
Legaturi si Bondage (imobilizare)
Aveti grija ca materialul pentru imobilizare sa fie unul flexibil, iar legaturile sa nu fie foarte stranse, mai ales in zona gatului si a incheieturilor, ce pot fi foarte usor ranite. Inainte de a incepe o scena bondage, interesati-va de starea sanatatii partenerului (probleme de circulatie, mamografii neregulate sau orice alta situatie relevanta).
Niciodata nu lasati o persoana legata nesupravegheata si fiti siguri ca aveti la indemana un forceps bun pentru a taia rapid legaturile! Gag-urile din material textil (lenjerie, sosete etc) ar trebui sa fie udate inainte, pentru a impiedica senzatia de voma, iar cele folosite sub o cagula trebuie sa permita o respiratie corespunzatoare.
Tehnica necorespunzatoare poate deteriora legaturile nervoase, poate provoca incapacitatea de a respira si chiar moartea prin strangulare sau asfixiere. Semenele de avertizare pentru persoanele top sunt :
– albirea pielii;
– invinetirea pielii;
– temperatura foarte joasa a corpului.
Persoanele care au rolul de bottom, inspecial cei aflati la inceput, pot avea atacuri neasteptate de panica in imobilizare, mai ales sub cagule. Ca bottom, ar trebui sa dati semne rapide de avertizare cand simtiti panica apropiindu-se, iar ca top trebuie sa fiti pregatiti oricand sa ractionati rapid si sa oferiti sprijin afectiv. Aceste atacuri de panica pot fi foarte violente, rezultand uneori in ranirea ambilor parteneri. Top-ul nu trebuie sa se panicheze, iar legaturile trebuiesc inlaturate de-abia dupa cateva minute, cand bottom-ul s-a calmat suficient.
Restrictionarea circulatiei nu este valabila numai in cazul franghiei sau al bandei adezive, ci si in cazul catuselor. Aveti grija cat de mult le strangeti si incercati sa aveti mereu chei de rezerva in apropiere.
Daca folositit banda adeziva aplicata direct pe piele, la smulgerea acesteia se vor rupe si fire de par si stratul superior al epidermei. Cand folositi asemenea materiale prin care pielea nu poate respire (banda adeziva, folie de platic pentru impachetare), fiti atenti la conditiile ambientului; in cazul unei calduri excesive sau al unei sedinte prelungite, deshidratarea se produce foarte repede.
Loviturile
Jocurile cu lovituri includ:
– spanking (lovirea feselor), de la usor la dur;
– whipping (biciuire);
– flogging (flagelare);
– caning (lovirea cu un baston de ratan, bambus s.a.) etc.
Acest tip de joc trebuie practicat numai pe anumite zone ale corpului; incheieturile sunt fragile, bustul si trunchiul au si ele zone sensibile. Nicio lovitura nu ar trebui sa ajunga in zona rinichilor, deoarece acestia sunt atasati de splina. Capul, zona gatului si a splinei sunt zone de evitat. Cele mai bune zone pentru lovituri sunt: fesele, coapsele, gambele, partea de sus a spatelui si muschii din zona pieptului.
Atentie la urme! Unele persoane prefera urmele, vanataile si ranile vindecate, in timp ce altele prefera sa le evite cat mai mult posibil. Cu un pic de antrenament, se poate provoca o senzatie intensa fara a lasa urme si se pot provoca urme fara senzatii intense. Atentie si la persoanele cu o piele mai sensibila, care se inroseste si la cea mai usoara lovitura. Nu prezinta o problema de sanatate, dar urmele pot aparea mai repede decat va asteptati.
Jucariile subtiri si varfurile ascutite pot rani pielea foarte usor, daca loviturile sunt de intensitate ridicata; atentie la bastoane (canes), bice flagelatoare din cauciuc, bice de tip single-tail (cu o singura “coada”) si cele asemanatoare. Daca in timpul jocului pielea s-a rupt, cititi sectiunea Blood Sport/ Piercing pentru sfaturi de curatare a pielii si sectiunea de Curatare a jucariilor.
Whipping (biciuirea)
Inaintea unei scene de flagelare/biciuire, ambii parteneri ar trebui sa acopere orice rani deschise, deoarece pot fi atinse de instrumente. Daca totusi doriti sa va jucati mai dur sau ranile sangerande apar oricum, nu folositi biciul sau floggerul pe mai multe persoane (atentie, bicele nu pot fi curatate complet!)
Blood Sports/ Piercing
Acele de seringa si seringile sunt folosite in jocurile BDSM pentru piercinguri temporare sau pentru injectarea unei solutii saline in scrot sau in alte zone sensibile ale corpului. Unii folosesc scalpele pentru a crea un design temporar sau permanent pe piele.
Locul in care asezati intrumentele sterile trebuie sa fie extreme de curat. Folositi cu un dezinfectant medical, conform instructiunilor producatorului.
Inainte de a incepe procedura de piercing, taiere, marcare (branding) sau eliminare a parului, pielea trebuie curatata. Folositi o discheta de bumbac curata si alcool medicinal si/sau orice alt antiseptic special pentru piele. Atentie, alcoolul doar curata, nu sterilizeaza! De aceea ar fi bine ca, in urma curatarii zonei cu alcool, aceasta sa fie sterilizata cu o solutie antiseptica.
Folositi numai ace noi, sterile, de unica folosinta. Refolosirea acelor poate duce foarte usor la infectarea cu HIV sau alte BTS!
Branding and scarification (marcarea si scarificarea)
Ambele practici sunt sigure din punct de vedere al transmiterii HIV, desi riscul pentru hepatita C este incert.
Pentru marcare este recomandat un echipament de unica folosinta sau folosirea echipamentului pe un singur bottom. Marcarea cu o lama ar trebui efectuata cu un scalpel medical cu lama de unica folosinta, ce poate fi achizitionat de la magazinele de echipamente medicale. O lama de ras manuala nu ar trebui niciodata utilizata de mai multe persoane.
Electro-play (jocul cu electricitatea)
Electricitatea poate provoca reactii usoare, cum ar fi furnicaturile, dar si contractii musculare violente. Problemele de sanatate legate de activitatea cardiaca ar trebui discutate inainte. O persoana cu un dispozitiv de tip pace-maker sau care ia medicamente pe baza de nitrati nu poate purta o zgarda electrica si trebuie sa fie foarte atenta in orice alte jocuri care implica electricitatea.
Evitati apa cand va jucati cu electricitatea; apa face ca zona de actiune a electricitatii sa fie imprevizibila.
Eticheta in BDSM se refera la respect si comunicare :
Respect: Negociati toate limitele si termenii (inclusive cuvintele si semnalele de siguranta) unei sedinte inainte de a incepe sa va jucati. Un cuvant (sau semnal) de siguranta – “safe word” – este folosit in jocul BDSM pentru a intrerupe jocul. Unii oameni folosesc verde (totul este bine), galben (diminuarea intensitatii sau oprirea temporara a jocului) , rosu (oprirea imediata a jocului). Acest sistem este folosit pentru protectia tuturor celor implicati. Respectati limitele si sentimentele celorlalti participanti la joc (si pe ale dumneavoastra) tot timpul.
Comunicare: Discutati despre placeri, nevoi, limitari fizice, experiente trecute, nevoi legate de sanatate, boli cu transmitere sexuala (BTS). Daca sunteti nesiguri de o activitate sexuala sau din cadrul BDSM, atunci incercati sa va abtineti pana in momentul in care veti fi invatat despre siguranta de catre o persoana mai experimentata. Discutiile intaresc intimitatea. Dumneavoastra si parterii dumneavostra va veti distra mai bine astfel!
Reducerea riscului in BDSM
BDSM-ul responsabil s-a referit mereu la existenta sigurantei; de aceea este importanta intelegerea riscurilor si minimizarea lor. Activitatile BDSM au fost clasificate cu risc redus de raspandire a virusului HIV, ceea ce inseamna ca putini oameni au contactat virusul in timpul practicilor BDSM, dar HIV nu este singura boala cu transmitere sexuala ce poate fi contactata; mai sunt alte cateva pericole asociate cu practicile BDSM.
Chiar daca totul a fost negociat, fiti pregatiti pentru o incheiere brusca a sedintei, avand mereu la indemana echipament de urgenta, cum ar fi o foarfeca de siguranta, un mic fierastrau pentru lanturi si catuse si o trusa de prim-ajutor.
Droguri si alcool
Daca va place BDSM-ul, fiti constienti de riscurile existente in cazul consumului de alcool si droguri. Acestea pot duce la activitati nesigure, pot intuneca judecata si scad viteza de reactie. Folosindu-le se poate reduce durerea fizica si se poate schimba nivelul energiei, precum si starea de spirit, dar cunoscand adevaratele limite ale durerii si placerii dumneavoastra constribuie la luarea unor decizii informate referitoare la ce doriti sa faceti si cat de departe vreti sa mergeti. Daca drogurile pe care le folositi inlatura capacitatea de a simti si de a reactiona la durere, va puteti provoca rani serioase, dumneavoastra sau partenerilor. Trebuie sa stiti daca ceea ce faceti este in concordanta cu ceea ce corpul poate suporta, altfel nu va veti putea da seama daca ceva a mers prost si nu veti putea opri jocul.
Folosirea acelor in comun, practica uzuala a celor care consuma substante stupefiante, poate duce la infectarea cu HIV sau hepatita.
Sanatatea sexuala
Oamenii au diferite niveluri de a intelege sanatatea sexuala. Nu presupuneti ca partenerul/partenerii dumneavostra isi cunosc toate elementele referitoare la aceasta, daca au sau nu boli cu transmitere sexuala, HIV sau hepatita. De asemenea, nu puteti cunoaste starea de sanatate a unei personae doar privind-o. Presupunerile referitoare la capacitatea sau dorinta unei persoane de a-si dezvalui starea de sanatate sunt numai presupuneri, in niciun caz protectie.
Ca in orice activitate sexuala, protectia (prezervative, manusi etc) este cheia, si este important sa va amintiti lucrurile de bun simt: acoperirea ranilor deschise cu bandaje si existenta unei truse de prim-ajutor in apropiere.
HIV
poate fi transmis de la o persoana la alta prin contactul cu oricare din urmatoarele lichide infectate:
– sange
– sperma
– secretii vaginale
– secretii ale mucoasei anale, vaginale sau cervicale
Pentru ca infectarea cu HIV sa aiba loc, lichidul infectat trebuie sa ia contact cu celulele susceptibile la HIV din sange, de obicei printr-o ruptura a pielii, absorbtie prin mucoasa sau printr-o discontinuitate a mucoasei. Mucoasele sunt suprafetele umede ale corpului, aflate in apropierea cavitatilor corporale si a unor organe, cum ar fi vaginul, uretra, peretele interior al preputului, rectul, gura, nasul, pleoapele.
Hepatita C
este una din infectiile cu virusul hepatic ce poate cauza leziuni ireversibile ficatului, dupa o perioada de mai multi ani de la infectare. Ca si HIV, se poate transmite prin contactul cu sange infectat. Spre deosebire de HIV, poate exista mult mai mult timp in afara corpului uman. Desi in majoritatea cazurilor se transmite prin folosirea acelorasi ustensile in consumul de droguri, poate fi contactat si prin lichidul seminal, vaginal sau mucoidal daca acesta contine sange, chiar si in cantitati microscopice.
Alte BTS: Avand alte boli cu transmitere sexuala, precum gonoreea, sifilis, herpes genital pot creste riscul de infectare cu HIV, chiar daca nu sunt vizibile simptomele acelei BTS. BTS-urile precum herpesul pot fi transmise prin simplul contact cu pielea umeda a celui infectat, pe cand altele, precum HIV necesita un contact mult mai intim.
Cele mai bune unelte pe care le avem pentru a reduce riscul de transmitere a acestor boli sunt folosirea prezervativelor, a manusilor chirurgicale si testarea regulata.
Rectul – este localizat la 2-4 cm de deschizatura anusului si are aproximativ 20 cm lungime. Introducerea unui obiect (deget, dildo, penis, pumn etc) poate duce la ruperea membranei rectului. Chiar si leziunile microscopice sunt locuri propice pentru infestarea cu HIV sau alte BTS. Ranile localizate in aceasta mucoasa sunt greu de observat. Daca aveti o taietura sau o rana pe deget, unghii lungi sau ascutite nu introduceti mana intr-un anus. Folositi intotdeauna manusi. Un dildo ce va fi introdus intr-un anus trebuie curatat in prealabil. Folositi mult lubrifiant pe baza de apa si fiti pregatiti sa mai aplicati in caz de nevoie.
Penisul – capatul penisului este o zona sensibila, protejata de 2 mucoase, una aflata la capatul uretrei si una pe peretele interior al preputului. Aceste doua zone, alaturi de oricare alte zgarieturi sau rani datorate oricaror cauza (chiar si a existentei unei BTS) pot duce la infectare.
Vaginul – partile interioare ale vaginului sunt mucoase, asa ca aveti grija cum va comportati in aceasta zona. E usor sa raniti, sa rupeti sau sa zgariati un vagin, asa ca este important ca acesta sa fie protejat cand este introdus ceva in el. Orice obiect introdus in vagin trebuie sa fie curat si sa nu aiba colturi sau margini ascutite. Vaginul poate fi ranit si in alte feluri: se pot zgaria partile interioare, se poate rupe pielea dintre vagin si rect, se poate rani tesutul dintre oasele pubice si/sau zgaria si taia in jurul deschizaturii uretrei.
Unele mucoase ale vaginului si cervixului pot absorbi in mod direct virusul HIV. Activitatile sexuale neprotejate cu un penis sau o “jucarie” necorespunzator curatata sunt activitati cu un grad ridicat de risc. In vagin se pot declansa si infectii in urma contactului cu fecalele.
Aceasta postare este o traducere a unei brosuri distribuite in SUA de catre AIDS Committee of Toronto, in cadrul proiectului “Safer BDSM Education Project” (email: bdsm@actoronto.org; web: http://www.actoronto.org/bdsm).
Toate drepturile asupra materialului original sunt rezervate acestui comitet.
Traducerea este personala .
Pentru orice nelamuriri, intrebari, comentarii sau daca doriti sa consultati brosura in original ma puteti contacta la a.du.malevil@gmail.com
I decided to write this blog as an info-page for those interested in the alternative lifestyle, mainly focused on BDSM. It will contain both articles in English and Romanian, but most of the ones in my native language will be translations from other sources, which I will quote (please visit them also).
I do not advise anybody to try any of the things written about without proper training and research, specialized supervision and without taking safety precautions! I am not responsible for any damage caused by people who rely on these writings for support. I will repeat, this is a personal blog and it contains my opinions and some things I have researched, but it is only one source of information, not an advice board!
Every article written here will contain references to BDSM and SM and you are personally responsible for any decision to participate in such acts. I inform, I warn, but there can never exist such a thing as complete information and assurance. The practices mentioned here are not risk-free, but people who decide to participate are considered experienced and properly prepared to face the consequences of their acts.
The whole content of this blog in personal and copyrighted. I will report to the proper authorities any attempt to steal or copy the articles written here without my permission.
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